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JUST THE TIP


David Byrne fans will know the famous lyric, "I hate people when they're not polite." Don't we all? Naturally, everyone benefits from each of us leading with politeness in most social situations, and one that's certainly no exception is tipping at restaurants. At least in the United States, considering the slave wages that servers are paid it's an absolute must. Others, such as tipping for a massage or a haircut, are also nothing new.


But something you might have noticed is how tipping has expanded wildly over the last 10 years or so, creeping into more and more places and areas of daily life. It's the new and not-so-improved tipping culture. Question is, how many of these newly ascribed "tipworthy" services are reasonable enough to accept into our social norms, and which should we pay?




HIP TO BE SQUARE


While tipping expectations are only increasing and becoming more widespread, one thing we're seeing far less of is signs reading "Cash Only." For those like me who rarely carry legal tender, the ability to use a card to pay for everything initially comes off as a blessing. However, this development isn't without its caveats. Enter the increasingly pervasive Square register screens. Yes, they're handy and make for a quick exchange, but many interfaces like those used with Square systems and their competitors have tipping screens hardcoded into their checkout processes by default.


This means that any business or vendor who uses these for transactions has no choice but to present tip screens to their customers for every checkout regardless of what they're selling, leading to people being prompted to tip in situations where it doesn't really fit or make any sense. What's more, these systems are often coded to only offer a few percentage or amount options for tips, sometimes starting with percentages as high as 25-30%, prompting the pattern to either tip considerably more than they otherwise would or be forced to tap the "No tip" option and toughen the resulting awkwardness.


But that's still not all. On those occasions where you do choose to tip via the Square interface, the full amount of your tip doesn't even go to the person or owner you're tipping. Why is this? Because Square sees fit to charge every merchant using its interface a fee for every tip received. Ouch. All of this is enough to make one wonder whether or not these digital checkout systems are worth the trade-offs.


Want an extra-comical example of how our tipping culture has gone a bit too far? I've seen tipping screens on self-service kiosks. Self-service kiosks . Who am I tipping? Myself?


TO TIP OR NOT TO TIP


Coming back to our original question, what warrants tips, and what doesn't? Personally, I say anyone providing services who makes less than minimum wage, those who wash your laundry, anyone who parks your vehicle, anyone who gives you a lift, or those who clean you up or provide you with sensual gratification in a professional capacity are all deserving of a gratuity as long as they do a good job. For anything outside of these, you're likely fine to skip the tip.


With that, I'll wish you good luck and well-being, generous readers. Don't let yourself get tip pressured into the poor house, and I'll see you next issue!


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